I have been praying a lot about what to do with the next season in my life. My youngest is preparing to fly the coop and I don’t think long term traveling with Curtiss is for me. So, what to do? I want to be productive yet I also want to be creative. I could stay at home and putz around our house as there isn’t a shortage of putzing projects to do to keep me busy, but I want to have a greater impact in the world than in just my home and family. Don’t get me wrong there is great value and honor in a woman making and keeping a home. I just have always wanted more.
I have had this dream of having a little shop. Over the years the concept of what the business would be has changed but still to be a little shop owner has always been appealing to me. I know that some people, my husband included, think that owning a shop ties you down too much. Tied down? For me it would be liberating! To be able to meet all sorts of people, to talk and talk and talk! To hawk my wares to those who need, want or appreciate them. To spend time in the midst of community. That isn’t being tied down to me at all.
Sure there is a lot of hard work involved. But this farmgirl has worked hard and don’t even get me started on the hard work it takes to raise a family! I have never shied away from hard work, well, maybe as a teen if you ask my mom, but then again, by today’s standards, I worked pretty hard as a teen. Still, when it is something you love it isn’t work at all, at least for me. Waking up early to trudge through the snow to milk my goats seemed ludicrous to my husband, but to put on my farm coat and farm boots with their earthy, musky smell, over my nice warm jammies, to feel the brisk morning air on my cheek and then to lay that cheek upon the side of a warm breathing creation of God, oh, that is peace. To just take in the beauty of the rhythmic sound of the milk hitting the side of the stainless steel pan, to see the steam rise from it and ohhhh the smells of my milking room, that isn’t work, that is a slice of heaven to me.
I guess I kind of got lost there for a moment, especially since my farm days are gone. But now, I have another passion. The passion of creating one of a kind garments, using modern, fast equipment that make the actual construction so much easier. I love the feel of the fabric, the sight of the colors and patterns, the sound of the machine and scissors as they cut something old into something new. The feel of a needle pulling thread. I makes my heart sing! I know there are others who love it too. I desire to share my love and my talent with others. I want to teach, to sell supplies, to sell my creations, to inspire and be inspired. My vision isn’t limited to simply retail business. I want to share the Joy I have in the Lord with people coming along for other purposes, to be a listening ear, strong arms that aren’t afraid to hug and to speak hope into the lives of those who may despair. I want to be a little shop owner and missionary all in one.
Dreaming is nice but you might be asking, why do I think God might be talking to me? Well, a new dear friend emailed me today and out of the blue, at the end of talking about a completely unrelated subject, she suggested that since I love to sew that I could start a business making one of a kind things to sell the people of Coeur d’ Alene! She had no idea that I have been re-praying about this for about a month or so. I say re-praying because this isn’t the first time I had been praying for my little shop. But then, the answer was a clear “no” or maybe it was just a “wait”. She also didn’t know that at one time, I did have a business. All that was lacking then was my little store front.
So, not one to think of things as coincidental, I am asking. Are you talking to me God? Is this another little nudge in that direction? Could the answer be this time, Yes?
I can wait until I know for sure, but my heart is happy in the potential of a dream come true.