I am having an identity issue. It isn’t really a crisis, but it is a bit of a challenge.

I simply don’t know what to wear or what to do with my hair!

I think I go through this a bit each Spring after I start waking up from my winter hibernation in bulky coats and sweaters and jean. I had lost 50 pounds last year, but put 15 of those pounds on during the hibernation. Ugh! I still want to lose a bit more but in the meantime, I have to shed these layers and wear something. But what? To confuse matters worse, I am approaching the big 50! What the heck does a 50 year old wear? I know, I can hear my cute Red Hat ladies saying in unison, “Anything that she wants to wear, (as long as it is purple and red).” But seriously, that just isn’t me.

I tried to get some help on the internet for age appropriate dressing and was even more confused.  I have watched the show, “What not to wear” and have bribed the kids to nominate me, but they haven’t so far.   So I decided to turn to some trusted buddies and again, the general consensus: “ Wear what you want, what makes you feel good”.  That is the problem. I Don’t KNOW What I Want!

I read where at my age I am supposed to know who I am and what I want.  But that so isn’t true of me.  I was stuck for so long and I don’t know who I am: other than I KNOW that I am the daughter of THE KING and I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me.  I am more than a conqueror and so on!  But how does my knowledge of who I am in Christ help me find clothing I feel comfortable in and that is flattering on me?  Like I said, it is kind of an identity thing. I am searching for how to clothe the REAL me.  So I began looking at all kinds of styles, not paying attention to the age or shape of the models So . . .

Okay, here is another confession.  Don’t they say that confession is good for the soul?

I am a wanna be bohemian hippee chick; have been deep down in my heart of hearts.  I would have dreadlocks, a tattoo and bangles up my arms and maybe even a nose ring if I were 20 something.  I am so serious.  I don’t know why I feel this way, I don’t think it is rebellion, but it could be. I have a little bit to rebel against when it comes to how my personality was formed. But since I am not 20 something and I am not sure our Lord would approve, I will settle for a few tiered skirts, a tunic or two, beads and bangles.  Throw in that Boho dress that I was going to make and then was afraid people would think it was a Halloween costume,  a few more tiered skirts,  a few scoop neck embellished Ts and some tanks and I should be good for Spring/Summer at least.  I do know I love skirts and dresses so I will be trying to make several of those. That should satisfy the bohemian in me.

But as soon as I thought that was that, the romantic started swooning and pretending to faint. She wants soft, deep jewel tones, elegant laces, sheer chiffons and rich velvets. Since I do have plenty of heirloom sewing experience, I could satisfy her with a few pieces. So, out of my tote, comes a petticoat skirt with a beautiful fancy band I made and then promptly felt silly in. I can envision a chocolate brown velvet tailored jacket with a ruffly blouse. A few soft chiffon skirts or dresses, and some modest camis should keep her upright for a little while. My hair is pulled up in a soft messy bun with tendrils hanging to frame my face. Yes, I can do that.

Nope, there goes a whoop and holler from the cowgirl. She gets the skirt, after all most cowgirls have a prairie skirt or two, but we need jeans and jeans jackets. I have a few jean or jean style jackets. In fact, I  just finished making a really neat jacket (see something old, something new post). It wasn’t my size but I have enough stuff to do another one, minus the lace skirt and tulle LOL! I love jeans and do need a new dark wash pair. I love the Santa Fe look of pairing jeans and the romantic look together, so that is totally doable.

Now that that is settled and I think I can pull this off, WHAT AM I TO DO WITH THIS HAIR? I know the long, stick straight look is popular and Demi can manage it without looking ancient, but I don’t know. I think it ages me. I am going to do a bit of color and I know what I like with that. But I really want to go short. NO, I mean SHORT. But I am too chicken so I will most likely go with the long and straight. I can try out the romantic updo as a dear friend gave me step by step how to instructions or there is always the Sarah Palin do that I paid $10 bucks to learn how to do. Did I mention that I became a girlie girl at 40+ and didn’t have a clue on hair or make up?  Oh, make up !!!   Well, that will be what that will be or I will be undone if I have to try to deal with that.  Actually, I am cool with my make up routine.    

Thanks to all my friends for their great advice and helping me through this crisis, I mean process. I am feeling much more settled today! Or could it be the bit of sunshine in between the snow flurries? Looks like I will have plenty of time to sew!